SCAM #30: REV. HARRY DICKSON

And so begins an epic, week-long exchange that I didn't see coming. It's always amusing to see how these scammers combine pseudo-upscale language with blatant errors in spelling in syntax. Read this one carefully, just to see if you can figure it out.

 From: PAYMENT VERIFICATION PANEL <pverification@worldbank.org>
Date: Sun, Oct 12, 2014 at 3:40 AM
Subject: ATTN. BENEFICIARY (THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR DELAYED PAYMENT)
To:

WORLD BANK DELEGATION TEAM

OFFICE OF THE PAYMENT VERIFICATION PANEL

INTERNATIONAL LIAISON OFFICE

Date: 11/10/2014

 

ATTN; BENEFICIARY,

 

Sequel to the on going payment verification exercise, It may interest you to note that I have personally completed investigations about your delayed payment down to the fund origin and have established in the course of my investigation that you are actually not the original beneficiary of the funds in question rather you are only being used to claim this outstanding payment through the help of your partners for their own selfish interest. I know this discovery might be a surprise to you but that is the truth.

 

Please note that I have really kept this development to myself and have been contemplating whether to report my findings to the entire verification team for onward cancellation of your payment, but owing to your recorded loses in this projrct I have this second thought of contacting you directly since I am in the position to assist you get this outstanding payment to your bank account. Hence its based on this subject that I solicit for your cooperation to enable me assist you process your delayed wire transfer into your nominated bank account with my earnest desire that you will in turn show appreciation towards the new Church Cathedral we are erecting in my Parish if God touches you at the end of the transfer which will not be longer than 10 working days.

 

There is no way your partners could have succeeded in manipulating this transfer in your favor before this time because both the deposit passwords and ownership clearance papers on this payment respectively are not within their disposals, henceforth it may interest you to note that spending any more money on this project without my consent is a complete waste of resources. Now that this truth has been reveled the ball is on your court. YOU CAN CONTACT ME WITH YOUR DETAILED INFORMATION AT: harry_dickson@aol.com

 

Reverend Harry Dickson

Chairman Joint Payment Verification Team

How am I supposed to contribute to his cathedral when he's going to wipe out my bank account? I replied with the some of the same misspellings, just to make him feel at home.
 

My dear Reverend:

I'm delighted to hear that the truth has been reveled, and your attempts to forward the money that is rightfully mine. The recorded loses in this projrct greatly upset me, but with you on my side, goodness will triumph. God will strike down thieves like them!

I would be honored to contribute to your cathedral (and would love to see a photo, if at all possible). Can you tell me what "detailed information" you need so we can begin this process?

Chester Hooten

 I was kind of surprised the good reverend replied, since it had been a long time since any of these scammers ever got back in touch. As with these other folks, he's looking out for my best interests:

Attn. Chester Hooten

Thanks for your response to our email, however as stated in my first email it may interest you to note that we have concluded arrangement with our paying bank to process your approved payment valued US$5.5 Million via ATM debit international withdrawal card which will be programmed and delivered to your address via  DHL courier service

This option so far has been confirmed as very reliable and less expensive compared to telegraphic wire transfer which is known to be more expensive, unnecessarily monitored and relatively complicated with demands of various clearances from international communities etc..., please note that the ATM debit card upon delivery will allow you make a maximum withdrawal value of US$10,000 per day from any ATM cash machine around your location. It is therefore very important you get back urgently with your consent on this option to enable this panel proceed with your payment as approved without any further delay, finally it is important you go ahead and forward your personal details as earlier requested (Full name, Current address and your direct telephone number) urgently to enable our paying bank commence the processing of your payment with the information you provided accordingly. Thanks as we await your urgent compliance, God Bless you

Yours truly
Reverend Father. Harry Dickson

 I was disappointed that he didn't attach a photo of the cathedral. I let it pass, so eager was I to get my hands on that dough.

Dear Rev.Dickson:

Thank you for looking out for my best interests. There are so many untruthful people in the world, especially on the internet, that I feel truly blessed to have found someone I can trust with my money. I wish there were more people out there like you! Then it truly would be a wonderful world.

My personal information:

Mr. Chester Hooten

335 Adams St,  Brooklyn, NY 11201
(718) 722-0712 

I look forward to hearing from you. May God bless you and your apocryphal cathedral.

Chester Hooten

A little Googling on the Reverend's part would have found that I had given him the address and number of the Brooklyn branch office of the Secret Service. But why let a little common sense get in the way of a scam?

Attn. Mr. Chester Hooten

The information you sent has been received and forwarded to our paying bank (Zenith Bank Plc) for onward programming and subsequent delivery of your personalized ATM debit card to your address accordingly, hence as inline with our tradition we will notify you with scanned copy of your personalized debit card together with your card four digit PIN envelop as soon as the loading is completed tomorrow or next for your confirmation prior to your card shipment via DHL courier service. May the blessing of the Lord that maketh rich and addeth NO sorrow in it be your portion now and forever more

Yours truly

Reverend Father. Harry Dickson

 

And may the Secret Service putteth you in prison. I thought this would be the end of our little back & forth -- until I heard from him the next day.


Attn. Mr. Chester Hooten

Finally your ATM debit card is ready for shipment to the address you provided, however as promised please find attached on a JPEG format scanned copy of your personalized ATM card together with the card 4 digit PIN envelop for your confirmation. You are therefore urgently required to go ahead and take care of the courier shipment fee and the bank administrative charges respectively which totaled US$480 to enable our documentary Unit proceed with the shipment to the address you provided via DHL courier service immediately.

Please Note; the airway bill tracking number of the shipment will be forwarded to you as soon as the shipment is made together with other relevant withdrawal instructions accordingly. It is important you comply urgently due to time constraint, Thanks for your kind understanding and God Bless you.

Yours Faithfully
Rev. Harry Dickson

  

You'd think they'd take the time to make the photos appear a little more professional, rather than looking like they were hastily taken by greedy crooks. But who am I to judge?

Dear Rev.Dickson:

This is really quite exciting. I can't wait to contribute to the building of your cathedral. Just how do I take care of the $480 fees and charges? And can I do that after I get the ATM card?

Chester Hooten

The good reverend must have been salivating, because he answered within two hours:

Attn. Chester Hooten

In response to your email please note that the required delivery charges must be taken care of by the beneficiary prior to shipment of the ATM card package via DHL courier service, hence due to time constraint it is important you go ahead and take care of the required delivery fees as earlier directed immediately via Moneygram transfer to enable DHL proceed with the shipment to your address immediately

Receiver; MICHAEL DIKE

Address; LAGOS - NIGERIA

Text Question; PURPOSE

Answer ; SHIPMENT

Thanks for your understanding as we await your urgent compliance, God Bless You!

Yours Faithfully

Rev. Harry Dickson

 It was time to drop the hammer:

Dear Rev. Dickson:

That sounds easy enough. I'll do that tonight once I leave work. I'm an agent for the Secret Service, and we're currently on a case involving email fraud -- crooks who try to steal from people by promising them millions of dollars in "winnings." But you're a reverend, and wouldn't do such a thing.

Please send me a photo of that cathedral!

Chester Hooten

I figured that would be the end of it. But this guy just couldn't take a hint.

I was thinking that you will take care of the required delivery fee by now as promised in your last email? it is important you go ahead and do the needful urgently as earlier directed to enable DHL proceed with your ATM card shipment to your address without any further delay. Meanwhile the issue of our church Cathedral should not be a priority here because it is not mandatory that you must donate to the building it is something that should be between you and God. Thanks for your kind understanding as we await your urgent compliance

Regards

Rev. Harry Dickson

This was like the good old days, when I kept these guys going for days on end. I had gone from trying to get rid of Rev. Dickson to reeling him in further:

 

Dear Rev.Dickson:

Sorry for the delay.  It seems that there's someone using your name to scam people out of their money. I know you're on the level, but my boss insists that you send me a photo of yourself. No crook would comply with that request, of course. Only an honest person would be happy to prove their honesty by providing an honest photo. Honest.

So once you send a photo, that $480 will be yours. A regular selfie would be fine, but a legal ID, like a drivers license or passport would be even better. Either way, however, you'll be $480 richer.

Steer clear of those Ebola-carriers!

Chester Hooten

You'd provide an ID for 480 bucks, right? Not Rev. Dickson, who was a little suspicious of my perfectly reasonable request. In fact, I could tell he was ticked-off by replying in caps:

HOW DO YOU MEAN SOMEONE IS USING MY NAME TO SCAM PEOPLE? HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT? IT SEEMS YOU ARE ACTUALLY TOYING WITH THIS PAYMENT EXERCISE AND NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY? PLEASE NOTE WE HAVE A LIMITED TIME FRAME TO COMPLETE THIS EXERCISE THEREFORE A STITCH ON TIME THEY SAY SAVES NINE

THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING

REV. HARRY DICKSON

Is that what they say? No matter. I let him know I didn't appreciate his attitude.

Dear Rev. Dickson:

I have no idea why you're so angry. I'm trying to help by warning you that there's evidence that some unscrupulous crook has stolen your personal contact information. Most people would be grateful that the Secret Service is keeping an eye out for their well-being.  

If it were up to me, I'd send you the $480 right now. But I remind you that my boss has demanded I see proof that you are who you say you are.  In fact, just to prove that I'm on your side, I swear as my god is my witness that I'm willing to contribute $10,000 in cash to you. You can use the money however you see fit -- for your cathedral, your personal needs, anything you want. But what I need to see is some form of ID.

Surely you can attach a photo of your ID for $10,000 in cash. Otherwise, I'm sorry I offended you, and I hope you have a good life.

Chester Hooten

 My god, by the way, is Paidia, the god of play and amusement, so I was in the clear.
Two days later, Rev. Dickson replied with the goods:
 

Attn Chester Hooten

Attached on a JPEG format is copy of my international passport as you requested, I don't send this to anybody for no reason whatsoever but I am compelled to do this, I hope this is OK

God Bless you

Rev. H. Dickson

 

Sorry I couldn't reproduce the photo well, but you can be sure he did his best to create a forged passport. I had to give him credit -- but not the money.

Dear Rev. Dickson:

Thank you for the photo. I appreciate your faith in me. Unfortunately, I have some bad news. Being an employee of the federal government, I'm not allowed to accept any package, shipment or letter from your country, due to the Ebola breakout. Let me assure you, this hurts me more than it does you.

However, I give you permission to use my winnings for your own personal use -- perhaps for your cathedral. Please send me a photo when it's completed.

Funny, isn't it, how I won all that money, only to give it all to you. God works in mysterious ways!

Chester Hooten

I assume this is the end of my dealings with Rev. Dickson. But I wouldn't bet $480 on it.

                                                          ************************ 

SCAM #29: MR. SCOTT PETERS

What with ISIS on the loose, Russia invading Ukraine, and Ebola wiping out half of Africa, I'm glad the UN is thinking of me:

From: CITIBANK LONDON <scotpetter3@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 4, 2014 at 4:33 PM
Subject: FOREIGN CONTRACT/AWARD WINNING PAYMENT UNITED NATION
To:


Our Ref: CITI/BKL/STB
Our Ref:
==============================
================================================================
ATTENTION:

WORLD BANK GROUP AND UNITED NATIOcc     N ORGANIZATION do hereby give this irrevocable approval order with Release Code: GNC/3480/02/00 in your favor for your contract entitlement/award winning payment with the UNITED NATION to your nominated bank account. Now your new Payment, United nation Approval No;UN5685P,White House Approved No:WH44CV, Reference No.-35460021, Allocation No: 674632 Password No: 339331 , Pin Code No: 55674 and your Certificate of Merit Payment No : 103 , Released Code No: 0763; Immediate Citibank Telex confirmation No: -1114433 ; Secret Code No: XXTN013, Having received these vital payment number , therefore You are qualified now to received and confirm Your payment with the United Nation immediately within the next 72hrs.

As a matter of fact, you are required to Deal and Communicate only with MR SCOTT PETERS, DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE CITIBANK OF UNITED KINGDOM, with the help and monitory team from the CITIBANK OF NEW YORK which is our official remitting bank, Committee On Foreign Payment Matters in United Nation, has look up to make sure you receive your fund valued $8.3m. So contact: MR.SCOTT PETERS on his contact information, Direct Telephone Number: +44-7045711888,OR +4470111 96795 Email: scotpetters@gmail.com  for immediate release of your contract/inheritance/Award Winning claim Be informed that you are not allowed to correspond with any person or office anymore, You are required to send bellow information for your transfer.
s
1) YOUR FULL NAME:
2) ADDRESS, CITY, STATE AND COUNTRY.
3) PHONE, FAX AND MOBILE:
4) COMPANY NAME (IF ANY) POSITION AND ADDRESS
5) BANK NAME
6) BANK ADDRESS.
7) ACCOUNT NUMBER:
8) ROUTING NO, /SWIFT CODE:
9) PROFESSION, AGE AND MARITAL STATUS
10) COPY OF YOUR INT'L PASSPORT/DRIVERS LICENSE

NOTE: YOUR PERSONAL CONTACT/COMMUNICATION CODE WITH CITIBANK IS(511),YOU ARE ADVICE TO SEND YOU FULL BANKING INFORMATION TO THE CITIBANK OF LONDON INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DIRECTOR HEADED BY MR.SCOTT PETERS AND MAKE SURE YOU SPEAK WITH HIM, WITH YOUR NEW PAYMENT CODE FOR RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT AND SEND HIM ALL YOUR BANKING INFORMATION NOW.

CONTACT CODE (511)
OFFICER: MR SCOTT PETERS.
POSITION: DIRECTOR, INTL, REMITTANCE CITIBANK LONDON.
Direct Telephone Number: +44-7045711888 OR +4470111 96795
FAX NUMBER:+44 870 288 7323
EMAIL: scotpetters@gmail.com
MR. SUAN RACE.
(CHAIRMAN COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN CONTRACT/AWARD WINNING PAYMENT UNITED NATION AND USA GOVERNMENT US$8,300,000.00)

 There really is a Scott Peters in the banking business. But did you notice that the name in the email is deliberately misspelled? Boy, it's a good thing I didn't, because I was mighty excited:

Are you God? Because I've been praying to God for this kind of money AND I'VE RECEIVED IT! THANK YOU!! I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY TO GET THE MONEY!!!

But I am confused, so confused by your email! What does it mean, how did I win it? Just tell me how, in words I can understand, AND I WILL GIVE YOU ALL THE INFORMATION YOU WANT! MY BANK NUMBER, PASSPORT, EVEN THE KEYS TO MY HOUSE!!! BECAUSE I'LL BE ABLE TO BUY A NEW HOUSE! Just explain how I won this money.

Love,

Chester Hooten

PS: EVERYTHING OF MINE IS YOURS!!!!

Too much to ask for? Apparently so. They never replied.

                                      ************************* 

SCAM #28: BARRISTER LARRY JEAN & BARRISTER WILLIAMS JACKSON

 Again with the urgent compensations! You'd think these guys would brush up on their grammar and syntax just a little to make it seem legit.

From: Barrister: Larry Jean <chambermenber@tvcabo.co.mz>
Date: Thu, Aug 28, 2014 at 9:37 PM
Subject: URGENT COMPENSATION FOR SCAM VICTIMS

Attention: Beneficiary.

  

It's our pleasure to inform you that United Nation in West African had a meeting with the Authority of International Court of Justice concerning scam activities in African countries in such as Nigeria, Benin Republic, Ghana and Burkina Faso the report of scam against innocent people worldwide such as U.S.A citizens, Asia and European.

 

Whom the country of Nigeria/Benin Rep, Burkina Faso Ghana and other African Countries mostly West Africans,have decided to compensate you due to meeting held with Four countries Government and the world high commissions against fraud activities by the Country above.

 

Your name was among those that scammed as listed by the West Africa Financial Intelligent Unit (WAFIU).Compensation has been issued out in Certified ATM Visa card or cash delivery to your home address value of $3.5MILLION USD to all the affected victims and has been already in distribution to all the bearers.

 

Your name was among those that were reported undelivered as of this moment and we wish to advise you to comply with the instructions of the Committee Chamber to make sure you receive your fund by any mode of transfer or cash delivery without any further delay.

 

We advise you to do the needful thing to make sure the WAFIU transfer or delivery of your fund via our reliable Courier Company appointed.You are assured of the safety of this transaction and availability and be advised that you should stop further contacts with all the fake people and fake security companies. scammers and Bank impostors.

 

Therefore you are advice to contact the lawyer in charges of this BIACARD ATM and his name is Barrister William Jackson and make sure you contact him immediately with your complete information needed for delivery.

 

 

REF: 2103VC.

 

E-mail (williamsjacksonchamberlaw@rediffmail.com)

 

Name: Barrister Williams Jackson

 

Contact Number: +234-8173367668

 

Contact him with your full delivery information regarding the delivery of your fund such as:your name, Address, your phone number, Gender and also a scan copy of your International Passport or any Id Card to avoid wrong delivery and then for Post/Mail service and also any beneficiary will be responsible for Post/Mail fees so as to avoid any scam and the fees is $110.00usd and you will receive your funds by cash delivery or ATM Visa card without any further delay.

 

Here is the payment information through Western Union Money Transfer stated below:

 

Receivers Name: TONY .C .NNAMAH

 

Country/City: LAGOS NIGERIA

 

Test Question: good

 

Answer: Trust.

 

Amount: $110.00USD

 

MTCN:

 

WAFIU further told us that the use of Nigeria Couriers and the Benin was abolished due to interception activities noticed in the above mentioned courier services in Benin, Nigeria and Ghana and thereby have made a concrete arrangement with the reliable courier company Benin Republic for a safe delivery to your door-step once the beneficiary meets up the demand of the conveyance.

 

Yours in Service,

 

Barrister: Larry Jean

 I didn't bother asking how a guy in Africa has an address -- rediffmail.com -- located in India. There was too much money at stake!

To

williamsjacksonchamberlaw@rediffmail.com

Today at 11:42 AM

Dear Barrister Williams Jackson,

That's a funny name, Williams. Are there two of you? Like twins? That would be doubly confusing, twins with the same name?

And speaking of names, Burkina Faso is a little strange, too. If you added a "t" to it, Burkina Fatso would make a swell wrestler's name! "In this corner, Burkina Fatso, challenging the champion, Tokyo Slim!" Tokyo Slim sounds like a cigarette, though, hunh?

OK, now that we've gotten that out of the way, Barrister Larry Jean (is everyone over there named Barrister?) tells me I've got a lot of scratch coming to me -- like 3.5 million's worth. Well, let me tell you, I deserve it. After the last time I got scammed out of $150, I swore NO MORE.

But now that you're ponying up, well, that's a good thing. But you know, I'd like to see a copy of your ID before I give you mine. I've got a check for $110 waiting to go. All I need to see is that you're on the level, and you'll be $110 richer, before I'm $3.5 million richer. That seems like a good trade off. Instead of the jerk off I've been getting in scams.

So please forward a scan of your ID. Doesn't need to be a passport. I'd take your driver's license or Idi Amin fan club membership card. Remember: I'll give you $110.

Chester Hooten

I was actually pretty excited to be talking to a real live ambassador. Unfortunately, it was for naught:

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA
PLOT 1075 DIPLOMATIC  DRIVE
CENTRAL DISTRICT AREA, ABUJA
PHONE: PHONE: Tel; +2348122422012

Hello Chester Hooten

Your mail has been receive and i want to let you know that i am not a
Nigerian i just have an assignment here in Nigeria and i am assuring
you that as far as you follow the due process i will be in your
doorstep as soon as possibly other beneficairies are online with you
so as soon as we receive the $105 tomorrow i will send you my flight
schedule i even call you but your phone is in answering machine so if
possibly for you.you can call me please i want to reconfirm the
payment information to you so view it below.

RECEIVER'S NAME: Emmanuel Okafor
ADDRESS: LAGOS , NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION:IN GOD?
ANSWER:WE TRUST?
AMOUNT:$105

i will be waiting to receive the western union payment information.

thanks and God bless


U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA
AMBASSADOR JAMES F. ENTWISTLE
PHONE: Tel; +2348122422012

 I really wanted to call this guy in the middle of the night his time -- 234 really is the Nigerian telephone exchange -- but I'm not sure my plan covers international calls to criminals. I had to send an email instead:

OK, now I'm confused. I thought I was talking to James F. Entwistle. Now I find out I'm talking to Emmanuel Okafor. (Hey here's a joke. What's an Okafor? To climb! Get it? Oak tree, see?)

I'm sorry you got my answering machine when I called. Did you hang up without leaving a message? Too bad, I would have loved hearing from you. I like talking to foreigners. I learn so much from them, like how foreign they are.

So, OK, you're Emmanuel Okafor. I've got the $105, but I have to trust you first. I have to know that you are who you say you are, which is Emmanuel Okafor. If you could send me a scan of your passport or driver's license (I guess you drive hippos instead of cars in Nigeria), that would be good.

One more thing, and this is very, very important: I cannot meet with you if you have Ebola. That is definitely a deal-breaker, no matter how much money you want to give me. Because $3.5 million isn't going to do me any good if I'm bleeding from my eyes.

Chester Hooten

Looks like our friend Mr. Okafor has Ebola, for he never answered. Glad I found out in time.

                                          ************** 

SCAM #27: AMBASSADOR JAMES F. ENTWISTLE

 Judging by the capital letters and strange syntax, I'm thinking this was one of the first Nigerian scams which finally made its way to me now. Nah -- it's from an idiot.

From: U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA <private01718@yahoo.co.jp>
Date: Tue, Aug 26, 2014 at 1:42 PM
Subject: U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA
To:

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA
PLOT 1075 DIPLOMATIC  DRIVE

CENTRAL DISTRICT AREA, ABUJA
PHONE: PHONE: Tel; +2348122422012

DEAR: SIR/ MADAM,

AFTER AN OFFICIAL MEETING HELD WITH THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA AND
MINISTER OF FINANCE CONCERNING UNPAID AND UNCLAIMED FUNDS TO FOREIGN
BENEFICIARIES,JUST LIKE YOU.I WAS VERY MUCH ANNOYED WHEN I FOUND OUT
THAT YOU PAID MUCH MONEY YET YOU NEVER RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS.THAT IS WHY
I DECIDED TO HELP YOU.

I SHALL BE COMING TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR AN OFFICIAL MEETING AND I WILL
BE BRINGING YOUR FUNDS OF $15.5 MILLION ALONG WITH ME THROUGH UNITED
STATES DIPLOMATIC MISSION TO YOUR COUNTRY.BUT THIS TIME I WILL NOT GO
THROUGH CUSTOMS BECAUSE AS AN USA AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA, I AM A USA
GOVERNMENT AGENT AND I HAVE THE VETO POWER TO GO THROUGH CUSTOMS.JUST
LIKE I HELPED R. BLACKWALL IN ERLANGER, KY
USA AND OTHER RECEIVED HIS FUNDS THROUGH FEDEX DELIVERY SERVICE THIS
YEAR 2014. TRACK THE BELOW AND SEE IT YOURSELF:

1.)FedEx.com
Tracking No: 797524131428

2)FedEx.com
Tracking No: 395659915113418


MAKE SURE YOU TRACK IT FIRST.AND AS SOON AS I AM THROUGH WITH THE
MEETING I SHALL THEN PROCEED TO YOUR HOME..(SEND YOUR INFORMATION:

1. YOUR FULL NAME
2. CELL PHONE NUMBER
3. ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT ME TO BRING THE PACKAGE).

YOU HAVE REALLY PAID SO MUCH IN THAT TRANSACTION  THAT MAKES ME
WONDER. YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY PERSON BECAUSE I SHALL BE BRINGING IT
MYSELF AND THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT.YOUR PACKAGE ($15.5
MILLION) MUST BE REGISTERED AS AN AMBASSADORIAL PACKAGE FOR ME TO
DEFEAT ALL ODDS AND THE COST OF REGISTERING IT IS $105.THE FEE MUST BE
PAID IN THE NEXT 50 HOURS VIA WESTERN UNION SO THAT ALL NECESSARY
ARRANGEMENT CAN BE MADE BEFORE TIME WILL BE AGAINST US.
SEND THE FEE VIA MONEY GRAM OR WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

RECEIVER'S NAME: Emmanuel Okafor
ADDRESS: LAGOS , NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION:IN GOD?
ANSWER:WE TRUST?
AMOUNT:$105

AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE FEE MAKE SURE YOU SEND ME THE PAYMENT
INFORMATION.I SHALL YOU MY FLIGHT SCHEDULE TO YOU.PLEASE GO THROUGH MY
WEBSITE AND READ BIOGRAPHY:

http://nigeria.usembassy.gov/biography.html

MY FLIGHT IS ON THURSDAY AND I EXPECT YOU TO COMPLY BEFORE THEN SO
THAT THE DELIVERY CAN BE COMPLETED. IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY, THEN IT WILL
NOT BE MY FAULT IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE YOUR PACKAGE EMAIL ME AT:
(usambassadortonigg00001@gmail.com)

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA
AMBASSADOR JAMES F. ENTWISTLE
PHONE: Tel; +2348122422012

 The genuine FedEx tracking numbers were a new twist, I give him that. I played it a little straighter than usual in my reply:

 Dear Ambassadortonigg00001,

You know, I was afraid this was one of those Nigerian scams, because you're in Nigeria, right? So I double-checked those FedEx numbers and, by gosh, you were on the level. Finally, some unearned money that's really really real!

Normally, I don't reply to these emails, but I'm making an exception this time because I know for sure you're telling the really real truth.

NAME: Chester Hooten
PHONE NUMBER: 212-384-1000
ADDRESS: 26 Federal Plaza, New York, NY

I've got the $105 waiting for you. If I may make a suggestion, however -- next time, STOP WITH THE CAPITAL LETTERS. IT'S LIKE YOU'RE YELLING. You want to be my friend, don't you?

Chester Hooten

 I hope he didn't recognize the number and address of the FBI's New York branch office before calling. I don't think I'll be hearing from him.

                                                        ******************

SCAM #26: CHRISTINE LAGARDE/MR. IBRAHIM DANGWOBE

 Another scammer looking out for the scammed by scamming them:

Christine Lagarde <christinelagarde0014@gmail.com>;

International Monetary Fund
Office of the Registrar
IMF Administrative Tribunal
700 19th Street, NW, Suite HQ1-3-544
Washington, DC 20431, USA


Attn: Sir/ madam
This email is directed to all the people who have been scammed in any part of the world,and these includes  foreign contractors, Inheritance beneficiaries and lottery winners  who  have not received their payment , and also people who have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems or fraudulent government/ bank  officials in Nigeria and other African countries .

A compensation payment of $3 million has been approved on your behalf by the United nations and world bank.
You are by this notice advised to contact the ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION to Nigeria for the dispatch of a cashier check of $3 million in your name.
Find below the name and email address of the contact person.
Name of contact person : MR.IBRAHIM DANGWOBE ,ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION
email address :ibrahimdangwobe141@gmail.com
You should cooperate with him and send to him a stamp duty fee of $100 to enable him deliver the  cashier check to you without any huddle
Your urgent response is expected in this matter.

Yours Faithfully,
Christine Lagarde


"Without any huddle?" Good, I don't like playing football. I sent my response urgently:

To ibrahimdangwobe141@gmail.com

Aug 19 at 2:47 PM

Dang, that's some dang name, Dangwobe! God dang! Did you know your first name is the same as President Ibrahim Lincoln? You must be related!

I play the lottery here all the time and never win shit. But somehow I hit the jackpot in Africa. What's up with that? I didn't even play there. I buy lottery tickets at 7-11. Do they have 7-11 in Africa? Or would that be called something else in African? What is African for 7-11?

I would like my 3 million dollars as soon as possible. The lady said I needed to send you a $100 stamp. Where do I find that? I don't know if my post office sells those. But let me know and give me your address. I am ready to collect my winnings!

Was it Lotto or Powerball?

Chester Hooten

Looks like Dangwobe isn't fond of urgent responses, because I've yet to hear from him. Hypocrite!

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SCAM #25: MR. BANK KI-MOON/REV. LISA NDU

Let's face it, the world is going to hell. So you can imagine how special I felt when the Secretary General of the UN took the time to get in touch with me:


FROM THE DESK OF MR. BAN KI-MOON

SECRETARY GENERAL UNITED NATIONS NEW YORK

Attention: Beneficiary.

Your ATM Card Contract Fund Payment From United Nations

This is to let you know that we received a payment credit instruction from the Federal Reserve Bank New York and Federal Government of Togo in West Africa to pay you with your full inheritance fund sum of us$8.5million from the Federal Reserve account with our office. We have been having series of meetings for the past 1 month now which ended 2days ago with the Togolese Government, HSBC Bank of United Kingdom (UK) with the World Bank Officials. This email is for all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the United Nations,HSBC Bank of United Kingdom (UK) Reserve Bank of Togo in West Africa, with the World Bank officials have agreed to compensate them with the sum of Eight Million, Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars each victim.

This includes every foreign contractor that may have not received his or her contract sum and people that had an unfinished transaction, people who have inheritance to claim or international businesses that failed due to inability of Government in some part of World.

It is my pleasure to inform you that ATM Visa Card has been approved in your favor, The ATM Card Value is $8,500,000 USD (Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand, USD Only) You are advised that a value of $20,000.00 USD is permitted for withdrawal per day and are duly Inter Switch so you can make withdrawal at any ATM locate Center of your choice around the world. However what is required of you is to contact the delivery agent through her email address as stated below for the immediate delivery of your ATM card.

Rev Mrs. Lisa Ndu

Email:   lisandu1970@gmail.com

Now you are therefore you are required to contact our Delivery Department through the email above within the next 48hrs.

Your immediate response is highly needed to enable our delivery department complete your delivery to your address immediately.

Thanks for your understanding while we looking forward to serve you better.

Congratulations on your inheritance fund.

Thanks and God bless you.

Best Regards,

Mr. Ban Ki-Moon

Secretary General United Nations New York.

In my excitement, I neglected to note that I was replying to a different person, so I wound up addressing my email to the Secretary General:

Dear Mr. Moon,

So you're the man in the moon I've hearing about all my life, LOL! Seriously, that kind of jack sounds mighty good to me! 20,000 a day? That buys a lotta hookers, don't it? Or maybe one REAL GOOD hooker! Frankly, I'd put that money to better use than those people in Africa, who just live in the woods or something, right?

So what do I have to do to get my hands on all that money? I'm mighty horny

Chester "Horny" Hooten

I was afraid that mistake would cost me my rightful fortune. Fortunately, the UN is a forgiving institution: 

Attention: Chester Hooten

It is my pleasure to inform you that i got your message and all the
content was well understood.  I write to confirm to you that you’re
international Visa ATM card is here with us for immediately delivery
to you, I have been waiting to hear from you as to direct me on how to
send your atm loaded with your money card to you.

There was a meeting about your inheritance and the United Nations
agreed with all other concerned authorities to pay you the sum of
US$8,500,000.00 for all your past efforts and attempts to complete
your transaction that never went through.

You are advised to stop every other communications you are having with
any other person or company or banks about any transaction that
concern the receipt of this your money.

However you are required to reconfirm your details as stated below.

FULL RECEIVER’S NAME:....................................
AGE:.........................................
RECEIVER’S ADDRESS:...............................
CITY:………………………………………………….
STATE:……………………………………………………..
ZIP CODE:……………………………………………………
DIRECT PHONE:.....................
OCCUPATION:..........................
COUNTRY :................................
SCANNED COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION CARD..... FOR CONFIRMATION OF IDENTITY.


Get back to me as soon as possible with the required information, so
that we can complete the delivery process immediately, this is my
direct number is +22898215666

Thanks and my regards to your family.

Remain bless.
Mrs. Lisa Ndu

 That paragraph about keeping my bank in the dark should certainly be a tip-off to the greediest of the greedy. Even Chester Hooten, of all people, needed an explanation:

This is getting pretty darned exciting! I agree that the United Nations owes me 8 million smackers for all the grief they've brought me, and this is more than enough of "I'm sorry."

But I have one, just one question. My bank is going to notice that I'm going to be using their ATM a whole hell of a lot. Shouldn't I let them know that it's perfectly alright, it's only the biggest VISA card in the world? 

I guess current events proved to be more important than a VISA card, because Mrs. Ndu stopped all communications. If only I hadn't been so nosy. 

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SCAM #24: JAMES B. COMEY

 From the "sir/madam" to delivering the check to me "without any huddle," this is the most inept scam I've received so far. Oh, and let's not forget that the head of the FBI's email address is a Ugandan domain:

James B. Comey <test1@utl.co.ug>

 FBI  HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON , D C.
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE ,
NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

Attn: sir/madam


I wish to inform you that we  have been holding series of meeting with representatives from IMF , United nations and world bank.
It was unanimously agreed that 15 individuals  be given a compensation compensation of $3.00 million in form of cashier check due to  unfinished contract, inheritance payment  they have in Nigeria or loss incurred from Scam.
Other beneficiaries have already receive theirs .
You are the only one whose  cashier check is still undelivered.
You are by this notice advised to contact MR.IBRAHIM DANGWOBE ,ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION via the email address ibrahimdagwobe414@gmail.com  for the delivery of your cashier check .You should cooperate with him and send to him a stamp duty fee of $250 to enable him deliver the  cashier check to you without any huddle.
Thank you for listening to our advice .

Faithfully Yours,
James B. Comey
FBI DIRECTOR

If I were to listen to his advice, I'd be an even bigger idiot than the, well, idiot who sent this. Still, I felt obliged to reply -- and even offer my heartiest felicitations:

Dear Mr. Dagwobe:

First of all, allow me to congratulate Nigeria on advancing to round 16 of the World Cup. I'm sure that you and your fellow sports fans are proud of a group of grown men who make a living kicking a ball around a field. Who needs a good education, right? From what I read in the papers, your Islamist terrorists don't have much use for education, and they're making some pretty serious headway your way!

Giving you, a total stranger, $250 in exchange for $3.00 million is surely a good deal no matter where you stand. Or sit, like I am now. I don't think anybody stands while sending an email, unless they're really tall and prefer to put the computer on top of the refrigerator. Do you have refrigerators in Nigeria? Pretty hot there! Where else would you store your giraffe pate? 

So what's your address? Let's get this deal cooking, before the terrorists blow up what's left of your country.

Chester Hooten 

Mr. Dagwobe must have fallen victim to the terrorists, because he never replied. Either that, or he choked to death on his giraffe pate.

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SCAM #23: MR. GEORGE SMITH

This guy was so excited to offer me a low-interest loan that he neglected to remember basic grammar, punctuation, and syntax skills:

From: MR. GEORGE SMITH <no_reply@bezeqint.net>
Date: Wed, Jun 25, 2014 at 6:42 AM
Subject: Re: USA LOAN
To:

I am Mr George E. Smith Executive director in the USA in California, We offer Legitimate Loans without collateral at the low interest rate of 2% with maximum guarantee and assurance.If you are in need of a loan, We will like you to let Us

know how much you need as loan in your next email so that i can provide you Our loan conditions for the swift processing of your application immediately.You can apply and get your loan same day if you are in the States,We await you,it is

cheaper and convenient for you..One America One Love.

BORROWERS INFORMATION

(1) Name:

(2) Address

(3) Sex & Age:

(4) Amount Needed

(5) Loan Duration:

(6) Monthly Income

(7) Valid Telephone/Fax

(8) Purpose of seeking Loan:

(9) Profession:

Please send your details to: carrington11th@gmail.com

Best Regards,

Mr.George E. Smith 

No need for formalities; I got right down to business:

(1) Name: Chester Hooten

(2) Address  948 Alpaca Drive

(3) Sex & Age: Not enough & 45

(4) Amount Needed $5,000

(5) Loan Duration: Forever

(6) Monthly Income  If I had an income, I wouldn't be asking for a loan, you stupid SOB.

(7) Valid Telephone/Fax  They shut off my telephone

(8) Purpose of seeking Loan:  Prostitutes. Lots of prostitutes

(9) Profession: Manager, Hooten's Flea Circus

Let's get cracking on this, George. I need some action, pronto.

Chester Hooten 

Man, I wish I had a phone. Maybe he would have replied. Or was it that "stupid SOB" crack?

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